


Whispers of Love

by pandorabox82



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2018-12-04 09:26:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11552301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: After a devastating attack, Serena finds that the only way she can get through the aftermath is with Bernie by her side.





	1. Chapter 1

Serena woke up to the sharp feeling of a knife pressing against her throat. Snapping her eyes open, she looked up into cold, dead, eyes and tried not to panic, since she knew that would only lead to her getting hurt. Swallowing thickly, she opened her mouth to speak, only for the knife to press more firmly against her flesh. Dipping her chin slightly, she closed her lips, continuing to make eye contact with the heavy form atop her.

"That's right, keep your mouth closed, I don't want to hear a single sound from you, otherwise my knife might slip. And we wouldn't want Ms Wolfe to lose her partner, now would we?"

Her throat closed up at those words, the first tears stinging her eyes as she realized somehow her assailant knew both her and Bernie. Words fluttered at the tip of her tongue, and she viciously but down to keep from speaking, the metallic taste of blood filling her mouth. Still, her attacker picked up on her distress, as a low chuckle erupted from his lips as he moved the knife from her throat to slip beneath the thin strap of her negligee.

The sharpness of the blade easily cut through the fabric, and she flinched a little as she tried to resign herself to what was going to happen. The second strap cut just as easily as the first, and then the cool night air lapped at her skin. Desperately, she tried to think of Bernie, and how loved she was, as the assault took place, and it helped a tiny bit, but the pain was still overwhelming as her body tried to protest what was happening. It was incredibly hard to stay quiet, but she somehow managed, biting down of her fist each time a noise threatened to escape her lips.

Finally, he finished and pulled out of her body, scrambling off the mattress and glaring down at her. "If you go to the police, I'll come back and kill you. Both of you."

Serena nodded anxiously, tracking his movements from the room, trying to figure out who had attacked her, even if she wouldn't be able to turn him in to the police. Nothing pinged in her memory banks, however, and as the door to her bedroom closed with a soft click, she allowed herself to turn onto her side and sob.

Some part of her brain reminded her that she had to stay quiet, that Jason couldn't be allowed to see her like this, and she once more pressed her fist to her mouth, digging her teeth into the soft skin of her pointer finger as she curled her body into a tiny ball. The frantic thought of Bernie coming home, finding her like that, wasn't enough to rouse her from the bed, and Serena prayed that her lover would have a late trauma which required her to stay at Holby for much longer than usual.

She couldn't sleep, try though she might, as every time she closed her eyes, her mind replayed the attack, over and over, assaulting her senses with the brutality of it. And so, Serena watched through her bedroom window as the sky lightened from black to blue. She had to get to work, otherwise people would ask questions of her, ones she didn't want to answer, but finding the will to get out of bed, to stretch out from the ball she'd made of her body, proved impossible.

"Auntie Serena, Henrik is on the phone. He says your shift started an hour ago. He's about to go into theatre, to do your first surgery. Are you heading in soon?"

It was much later than she thought, then, and slowly she uncurled herself, feeling all her muscles and bones protest in agony. "I, I think I've come down with the flu, Jason. Can you ask him to cover for me today?"

She hated the sound of her voice, since she could hear the truth in her lie. There was a slight pause before Jason called through the door once more. "He says that will be fine, and to feel better soon. Do you need me to stay home, too, and take care of you?"

"No, no, I should be okay on my own. But thank you."

"Oh, okay." Jason sounded suspicious, which he rightfully should, and so she listened closely to make certain his footsteps faded away from the door before sitting up and wrapping her arms around her legs, giving in to the desire to cry once more.

Serena had no idea how long she sat like that, but the next thing she was aware of was a soft hand upon her shoulder. She couldn't stop the sharp flinch away from the comforting gesture, nor the stifled scream that passed through her lips as she opened her eyes to look into Bernie's shocked face. "This is most definitely not the flu, Serena."

"You talked to Henrik, then?" she asked, still holding her body rigidly upright, away from the gentleness of Bernie's touch.

Bernie nodded as she kept her gaze on Serena's face. "He sounded concerned, and made certain to tell me to get home to you as soon as I could." Hesitantly, she reached her hand out once more, and Serena steeled herself for the touch, not wanting to over-react once more. "Darling?"

"I can't. You'll want to go to the police, and then he'll hurt you, too," she babbled out before clapping her hands over her mouth to stop the truth pouring from them. Bernie's eyes flicked down her body, and a low gasp slipped from her mouth as she slowly touched the skin of Serena's neck.

"You were bleeding." Her voice broke on the last word, tears shimmering in her eyes as she dragged her fingers up to caress Serena's cheek. Their eyes met once again, and Serena let herself cry as she shrugged. "Darling, we need to report this. He could hurt other women."

"He knows us by name, Berenice!" she hissed desperately, pulling in on herself as she fought the urge to pull away from Bernie. "He knows where we live. Somehow, he managed to get into our locked house, and if he can do that, he can certainly take you away from me. I can't lose someone else I love! Please, please, listen to me."

Bernie's thumb began to run back and forth along her cheekbone as she shook her head. "I can protect all of us, darling. I was in the Army, after all, and that training never really leaves the muscles. This, though, this is going to haunt you if you don't say something, and your attacker hurts someone else. Please, darling, listen to me."

Hearing her words repeated, with the same tender concern that hallmarked Bernie and her love of Serena, finally broke through her obstinacy, and she gave her lover a small nod. "I'll try, if you make certain that whoever comes to take my statement does so in a regular car, so as not to draw attention to us. And…"

"Yes, Serena?"

"I don't want this to get back to the hospital. I know I have to visit a SARC, after I speak to the officer, but, I want this kept as quiet as possible. I'm not certain I can go through with a full investigation, that I'll find the strength to put myself out there like that, but as long as the SAK is there, with the information processed, that will be enough. Okay?"

Bernie sighed as she nodded, as if she knew that Serena would budge no more. "I'll support you no matter what, you know that, Serena. I will always be by your side, even if I think you're making a foolish choice."

"I'm only mortal," she quipped, needing to find some bit of humour to take her mind off what had happened to her, and what she was going to do.


	2. Chapter 2

"I am so glad that you listened to me and asked for the detective to come over in an unmarked car," Serena said softly as she picked up her tea and took a hesitant sip, never making eye contact with her lover. "Do you think I can finally take a bath?"

"Of course, darling. They took all the evidence they needed, so you are more than free to do that."

"And would you come with me?"

"Yes." Bernie stood up from the sofa and held out her hand. Without hesitation, Serena clasped it, letting Bernie pull her to her feet and not objecting when she hugged her tightly. "I'm going to call Hanssen once you're in the bath, he needs to be updated about the change to our schedules. I'll put him on speaker, so that you can interject at any moment with input. And I'll only tell him as much as you want known."

Serena nodded a little, letting Bernie pull her close as they made their way upstairs and into the bathroom. While Bernie filled the tub with warm water, Serena slipped off the robe she'd thrown on the moment they'd arrived home, needing the comfort of the fluffy garment to help settle her nerves. Then she peeled off the loose skirt and shirt she'd put on for their short drive to the SARC. "Bernie?"

Her lover turned and looked at her, giving her a gentle smile before drifting over to her side, seeming to know exactly what Serena meant by saying her name in that low tone. She stopped mere inches away from Serena, looking at her expectantly, waiting for something from her. "May I?"

Oh. Permission. Trust her lover to be so accommodating of her, and she gave a small nod, closing the small distance between them and resting her forehead on Bernie's chest, welcoming the comforting feel of her arms closing around her waist. Bernie nuzzled her nose in Serena's hair as she led her over to the bath and helped her in. "He didn't hold me. He didn't kiss me. Thank god for small favours, since I know that if he had done those things, then I couldn't let you touch me, hold me, be with me. I don't want to think about that."

With trembling hands, Serena reached up and began to undo the buttons of Bernie's shirt, pushing it off her shoulders before hurriedly unhooking her bra, adding it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. "You are going to talk to your therapist about this, though, right? I can't have you burying this in your heart, pretending like everything is all right."

"I know," Serena whispered as she fumbled with the fastenings on the gloriously tight jeans Bernie delighted in wearing. Together, they pushed the garment to the floor, along with her pants, and then Bernie was just as naked as she was. "Now, join me in the tub and then call Henrik."

Bernie gave her a small nod as she bent and rummaged through her pocket, fishing out her mobile before clambering into the tub and settling back against the porcelain tub. Serena gave her a small smile as she stepped in as well, grateful that she could rest her back against Bernie's chest, so that she couldn't see her face as they rested in the tub. "Should I just call his mobile?"

"That would be best," she murmured as she rubbed her cheek against her collarbone, letting the steady thrum of Bernie's heartbeat calm her rapidly spinning thoughts. A few low noises on the device told Serena that Bernie was calling him, and then she heard the ringing of the phone. A part of her was both anxious and relieved when Henrik picked up on the third ring.

"Ms Wolfe? Is Serena feeling all right?"

Her lover took a deep breath, and she nodded, trying to let Bernie know that it would be all right, even if she would be mortified to have Henrik know something so intimate about her. "It wasn't the flu, Mister Hanssen."

"I figured as much, since Serena would have been responsible enough to call me with that news. Can you share with me what is really going on?"

Bernie let her free hand slip down Serena's shoulder until it was curled possessively around her breast, and the touch calmed her nerves a little as she listened to the breaths that Bernie was taking. "Whilst I am not at complete liberty to fill you in on what happened last night and today, I do feel the need to inform you that there will have to be a change to our schedules for the next few months."

There was a short pause, and Serena could almost picture the man tapping his fingers against the top of his desk as he collected his thoughts, trying to put together what Bernie was getting at. "I'm assuming that you both will need to work the same shifts, or as close to the same as possible. It will take some juggling, of course, but it can be arranged. And if it so happens that there are a few shifts where it cannot, either myself or Mister Griffin will fill in for you."

"Thank you, Mister Hanssen. Hopefully, things will be sorted before too long. And we'll see you tomorrow."

"Of course, Ms Wolfe. Take good care of our Serena."

The gentle ownership touched the tender places of Serena's heart, even as her rational mind bristled a little at the remark. "I always do make certain she takes care of me, Henrik. And she is ever so good at that," she tartly said, listening to the low chuckle that spilled over the phone line.

"I can only imagine, and that is as far as I will go with that line of thought. But if you need a more impartial ear to listen to you, my office is always open. Please, remember that."

"Of course, Henrik." A true smile curved her lips upwards as she closed her eyes and let her body relax more, listening to Henrik and Bernie wrap up their conversation. There was something soothing about the sound of their voices, and she slipped into the sleep her body so desperately needed. It only lasted a few minutes, it seemed like, as she was then coming awake with a start, the water splashing violently as she woke with a start from a nightmare.

"I have you, Serena. Shh. I'm here."

Somehow, Serena managed to contort her body so that she could look into Bernie's eyes, needing the reassuring look she knew she would find there. "He was hurting you, Bernie," she managed to whimper out before burying her head in the curve of her lover's neck, trusting Bernie to keep her safe as she rubbed her back in soft circles. "I couldn't move, and you were looking at me, begging me with your eyes to help, and I couldn't do anything."

"But as you can see, I'm okay, _ma petite chou_. I'm right here, holding you close, and he is nowhere near us. And I promise you, I will use every fibre of my soul to see that you are never hurt in that manner again."

Bernie started to hum lowly, and Serena shook her head as she reached up and lightly smacked her arm. "Please, not that song. We're the same age, and I am in no way Mrs. Lovett."

"The sentiment of the song remains, Serena. Nothing is going to harm you. Not while I'm around." Bernie dropped a gentle kiss to the top of her head before tugging her closer, entwining their limbs in an effort to truly make them one body. "You are mine, forever and always, no matter what anyone tries to do to change that." And all Serena could do was nod a little, knowing that while things were far from ideal, she had her beloved by her side to help her along.


	3. Chapter 3

Serena tried not to flinch as she took a furtive glance around the parking lot of the hospital. She felt like every single man they passed was looking at her askance, and she had to keep her poker face in place, so as not to draw even more attention to herself. "You're okay," Bernie whispered in her ear as they stepped into Pulses, and she gave a small nod as she reached out for her lover's hand, threading their fingers together as they waited.

"I know that I'm okay as long as I'm by your side. It's when we're apart that I start to worry," she said under her breath as they took a step forward. One of the porters from Keller turned to look back at them, and Serena found herself tensing up instinctively, Bernie's gentle squeeze of her hand the only thing that kept her from sharply asking what the man wanted. Instead, she gave him a small nod before focusing on Bernie once more.

"So, did you try anything interesting while on sabbatical?" Bernie asked, and Serena gave her a quick smile, thankful that she had broken the bad mood by her simple question.

"Well, now that you ask, yes. Did you see that Jason tagged me on Facebook, when Starbucks was doing their Unicorn Frappuccino?" Bernie nodded. "Well, that was a gentle reminder that I needed to have a little fun and live a little. Elinor would have had a hundred of them, since unicorns were her passion when she was young. It was only a small reach towards me, and it meant the world to me, even if there weren't many more in the next few weeks."

"Did you like it? It looked really…pink."

"I don't remember if I liked how it tasted or not. All I remember is that for one brief moment, I was connected with my Ellie once more, and that was all that mattered."

Bernie gave her a small nod before giving her hand a sequence of gentle squeezes. It was the most affection either felt comfortable showing in such a public setting, and it still managed to settle her heart and keep the tears at bay. Her lover smiled a little as they finally stepped up to the barista, rattling off their order with a precision borne of intimate knowledge of her.

While they waited for their coffees, Serena tried to not think about being watched, but the distinct sensation of eyes on her back. "Serena?"

"Someone is watching me, or us. I can't tell, really. All I know is I feel eyes."

Bernie gave her a tiny nod before cocking her head to one side. As Serena watched, she could see the Major in Bernie come out as she clocked the people still in the coffee shop. "Do you still feel like someone is watching you?" she murmured lowly as she picked up their cups, handing the larger one to Serena as they turned and made their way over to the lift.

"A little, yeah. Were you able to clock anyone watching us?"

The lift doors opened, and Bernie ushered her inside, pressing the button for AAU before directing Serena close to her side. Thankfully, no one else joined them, and she was able to close the small distance between them, hooking her free pinky with Bernie's. "No, unfortunately no one stood out to me. That doesn't mean I don't believe you, since you should always trust your gut, especially after what happened to you." Bernie gently shook her hand free of Serena's and reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you," she whispered, tears clouding her vision as she leaned up a little and ghosted her lips across Bernie's cheek. "I hate feeling trapped."

"I can only imagine." They shared a look before Serena stepped back and tried to regain some of her composure before they had to face the ward. The lift doors slid open, and her work façade quickly slipped into place, a cool smile curving her lips upwards as she stepped out and made her way to their office. "I'll be there in ten!"

"Of course!" she called back, never turning to look at her lover, since she didn't want anything to seem different about that morning. Fletch looked up from the computer as she passed by, giving her a warm smile, and she nodded to him a little, intent on heading right past him.

"Oh, Serena, wait!" Pausing, she looked back at him, watching him beckon her over. Letting out a short breath, she nodded and went back to the nurse's station, resting her hands on the counter as she looked at him expectantly. "Evie was wondering if you would like to come over for supper tonight?"

"Just me?"

"No, the family. You, Bernie, Jason."

Slowly, Serena relaxed as she pulled out her phone, glancing at the calendar. "Well, you know that, barring a last minute trauma, Bernie and I will be there, and it looks like Jason is free. I still need to ask him, but I'm saying yes for two of us."

"Perfect! I'll just let Evie know, then. I think Raf has been talked into making the meal, anyway."

"Talked, or strong armed?" Serena joked, watching a quickly gone blush steal across Fletch's features.

"You know that girl of mine, she seems to have taken many a lesson from your playbook."

A bright laugh spilled from her lips as she gave a small shrug. "There are worse people she could learn from."

"This is very true!" he replied as he stood and made his way over to where Morven was talking to a patient, and she used the distraction to slip into the office, taking a seat behind the desk and turning on her computer while pulling out the paperwork that she had brought home on her previous shift and filing them away.

"It never ends, does it?"

Looking up, she smiled to see Sacha leaning against the doorjamb, a genial smile on his lips. "No, not even when you have an unexpected sick day. Instead, it looks like my inbox is almost overflowing once more. But how are you doing?" she asked as she gestured to one of the open chairs.

He came in and took a seat, making himself thoroughly comfortable as she sipped at her coffee, relishing the taste of it as it slid down her throat. Bernie slipped in and sat behind her desk moments later, watching them carefully as she started to read through her emails, and Sacha nodded to her in passing. "I'm doing well. Daniel is getting so big already, and he reminds me more and more of Chrissy every day. I actually popped down here to actually see Bernie about Dom, if you don't mind…?"

Serena shook her head a little as she took another sip of her coffee. "No, that's fine. I have obs to do, anyway." Getting up from her desk, she gave a tender smile to Bernie before leaving the office and joining Morven over by another patient. The young woman smiled at her, and she gave her a small smile in return, trying to pay attention to what was being said even as she kept her senses hyperaware, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't feel the disconcerting sensation of an unknown person watching her for the rest of the day.


	4. Chapter 4

The day had gone smoother than she had anticipated, Serena thought as she pulled her lunch out of her bag and opened the sandwich box. Just as she was about to take a bite, her desk phone rang, and she let out a small groan as she set it aside and picked up the handset. "Hello?"

"I take it you felt me watching you this morning in Pulses."

It took every fibre in her being to not react, since she knew that was what her assailant wanted from her. Instead, she drew in a deep breath through her nose as she slowly stood from her desk and glanced out into the ward. Nothing immediately stood out to her, and she cleared her throat a little, still trying to get her bearings about her. "I did. Though I had already made the assumption that you worked here, based upon your knowledge of me and Bernie. Did you want something?"

"My, my, my, don't you think you're in control of this situation? This is just a reminder that I know things about you, and your lover. And if you were to make a misstep, and say something you shouldn't, well…"

The implicit threat made her shiver violently, and Serena slowly sank back down into her chair, trying to keep control of her breathing, so as not to give away her anxiety. "I did as you asked. I didn't go to the police. Leave us alone!"

"Oh, well now, I could do that, but where would the fun in that be? Enjoy the feel of Bernie's hands where I've been. I hope you recall that every single time you're close to fucking her."

Before Serena could reply, the connection was cut off, and she released the strangled sob that she had been keeping in before pressing her hand tight to her lips, trying to stifle the sound that was escaping her throat. Her phone rang again, and she let out a small squeak before swallowing thickly and picking up the receiver once more. "He-hello?"

"Ah, Serena, I was hoping to catch you in your office. Do you have a moment to come up and see me?"

She instantly relaxed at the sound of Henrik's voice, a smile of relief spreading across her lips as she nodded. "If you don't mind me eating while we talk."

"That's fine, I just feel that we have a few things to discuss regarding your illness yesterday."

"Of course. I'll be there in about ten minutes, probably less, but you know how the lifts are."

"That I do."

Henrik hung up before she could reply, and she bit her lip a little as she packed up her lunch once more, picking up the bag before heading out the door. "Where are you going, Serena?"

She turned to look at Bernie, unable to keep her feelings from showing on her face. Her partner stepped closer to her, reaching out and touching her arm gently. Serena shook her head a tiny bit as she blinked rapidly to keep her tears at bay. "I need to go speak with Henrik. I'll be fine."

"That look does not scream fine to me. I'll ride up with you, just in case."

Serena wanted to protest, to tell Bernie that she didn't need her to go up with her, but she knew that it would do no good. Instead, she just nodded and jerked her head over towards the lift before striding over to it, knowing that Bernie would follow after her. The doors slid open shortly after she had pressed the button, and this time they were not so fortunate to have an empty car. Still, Bernie stepped as close as appropriate to Serena, and she scrambled for her hand as they rode up to Henrik's office.

"Excuse me," a low voice said as he brushed past them, and Serena stiffened a little, unable to stop the visceral reaction to being touched unexpectedly. Bernie squeezed her hand tightly as she led her out of the elevator, guiding her over to Henrik's office, all the while murmuring gentle blandishments in her ear as they went.

"I can wait here for you, darling."

"That won't be necessary, Ms Wolfe." They both looked up, and Henrik gave her a gentle smile before slowly reaching out and touching her shoulder. "I need to head down to AAU afterwards, anyway, so I'll make certain she gets back to the ward in one piece."

An almost inscrutable look passed between the pair, and Serena immediately began to wonder if they had had another conversation that she hadn't been privy to, and if Bernie had told him more about what had happened to her. And then Bernie nodded and turned on her heel, heading towards the stairs and out the door. "Henrik?"

"I know that you probably want her near you, at all times, but I feel like we need to talk alone. If you don't feel comfortable with that, tell me now."

She shook her head a little as she followed him into the office, taking a seat in front of his desk and opening her sandwich once more, needing the buffer she knew it would provide. "I know you know I wasn't ill." He dipped his head, and she caught the faint flicker of sympathy that passed over his face. "I don't want your pity, Henrik. I was raped, and I'm moving on from it."

With the words said, it suddenly became a little more real to her. She hadn't used such plain language with the detective, preferring to couch it in euphemisms, since it gave her some space. She knew, though, that Henrik wasn't one for such things. "You're right, I shouldn't pity you. But I do sympathize with you. Have you taken measures to find who attacked you?"

She shook her head a little. "That was the reason Bernie requested to work shifts with me for the foreseeable future." Henrik arched one eyebrow as he steepled his fingers together over his torso. "I know, you've already figured it out, and yes, it's like having the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. But what else am I to do? He knows Bernie and me, and I cannot put her in any danger. Not even if it means that he goes unpunished."

"I know that you're smarter than that, Serena. Is this really the course of action that you wish to take?"

"Bernie asked me the same thing," she whispered as she focused on her lap, her sandwich suddenly unappealing to her. "And I did report what happened to me, I just won't be taking it any farther. Because he's here, watching us. I don't know who it is, but I do know that I will do anything in my power to keep Bernie safe. She's always been the one who protects me, it's about time that I returned the favour. Right?"

She heard the shuffle of fabric as Henrik moved in his chair and then saw his hand move into her line of sight before he moved it to rest on her shoulder. "Not in this manner, Serena. Speaking as your friend, and as CEO, you need to keep aware of what's happening around you, and report any sign of unusual activity around yourself, or Ms Wolfe, to security as soon as possible." His hand tightened around the ball of her shoulder in a comforting grip, and she looked up into his warm gaze, noting that there was a faint sheen of tears present. "Now, speaking purely as your friend, what can I do to support you? Because you do not deserve to live your life in fear, Serena."

"I know. And knowing that you support me makes everything better, I swear. I just, I need to do this my own way, Henrik. Please?"

A low sigh slipped from his lips as he regarded her carefully. "For the time being, I will allow it. However, at the first sign of anything changing, Ms Wolfe and I will be taking matters into our own hands. And even though we have not discussed that possibility, I have the feeling that she would be in complete agreement with me." Serena nodded, knowing that he was right, yet still unwilling to capitulate quite that quickly. Still, it was good to know that she had people in her life that were willing to defend her, no matter what the consequences might be.

"Thank you, Henrik." She slid her hand upwards until it was covering his, and she patted it a few times before looking away from him, knowing that if she kept eye contact for any longer, she would break down into tears. "Now, I am going to finish this and then head back down to the ward. You should probably go and make certain that Bernie isn't running roughshod over everyone."

He pulled his hand back slowly as he drew in a low breath. "I do believe that I said I would escort you back downstairs, and I do not relish what I would be put through, should I show up there without you." It was a sweet moment of humour from him, and she nodded as she quickly ate the rest of her lunch, needing to be with Bernie as soon as she could.


End file.
